nervous, bicker, trajectory

3 word Wednesday, I seem to approach as a Rorschach test. It's very fun.



"To the moon Alice!"
We'd wait with nervous apprehension
to hear the comedic trajectory
weekly from the Bickerson's.

allure, perch, vivid 3 word wednesday

My chickens perched on a rail.
A vivid memory.
After the red fox arrives
with cunning allure.

What Scares Me

Things I am scared of change with time. I used to be scared of the dark and spiders. Now, I am at peace with the dark and catch and release the spiders for my own children. I used to be afraid of not having any friends, but now I have some very good friends. I once was scared of how my life would change when I had to move or had children. I have faced both and one child had surgery the day she was born. Still not all that scary.

What scares me now, today, this moment in time. In a catastrophic view of fear, my kids dying. That scares me. It does not scare me that they would be scared of dying but how would I react to life without them. I have lost so much. How would my body tolerate losing more? I'm scared to think of how hard it would be.

More scary to me on a day to day basis are children today. They play too many violent video games, they communicate only by texting and IMing. They say they are talking but I don't hear any words. They can make a family on the computer and manipulate the characters. They don't know how to ride bikes, design forts in trees or on the ground. Roller blade, ice skate and shoot hoops, gone. The peer pressure to do or not do is extreme. They send pictures and update profiles. The drugs that are available put to shame the options from 20 years ago. And mostly they are getting fat. Parents are to busy to make a meal and offer food from real sources, like carrots and apples, rather than chips from a cylinder. Some are impressed that you can "make" cookies. So, they can't swim, can't run, and can't jump rope. The creativity to sew, design and fix something seems to have vanished. The recieve education one day and the follow up test the next to track progress and record results. The logic and problem solving in our children's classrooms seem to be left to, who will close the door for the lock down drill.

That is scary.

knack, varied, crush, 3 word wednesday

A sudden, crushing blow to my heart.
Varied emotions to follow.
Finding the knack of learning to survive, alone.

Scribbles on Aging

When I think of aging I think of watching my 96 year old Grandmother die. When I think of aging I think of watching a friend who had battled, fought and gave it her all lose to the cancer that permeated every ounce of her body. But aging is far from the end. Those last moments where you relive your life. No aging, handily marked by the annual birthday, celebrated, recognized it still comes around to greet you every year. Aging, is the process we all go through, rarely talked about unless, it is a complaint. "Oh my achin' back" "why don't you grow up-act your age".

I can't stop aging. I unceremoniously reached 40. No hoopla, no excitement. Just me, and a rock to climb and conquer. Maybe for the soul purpose to prove to someone else, or myself I was not aging.

I tell my kids, enjoy being 10. Enjoy. The remark in return is that when I am old I can have more fun, I won't have so many rules. There are always rules. Are there rules to aging? We all know those who are doing it gracefully, whether 4, 44, 84 or 104. We turn away from those not aging so gracefully. We tend to put them away. Lock them in places, so the rest of us must not see what happens to a body aging. I think most are scared.

A Time for Everything

1 There is an appointed time for everything. And there is a time for every event under heaven—
2 A time to give birth and a time to die; A time to plant and a time to uproot what is planted.
3 A time to kill and a time to heal; A time to tear down and a time to build up.
4 A time to weep and a time to laugh; A time to mourn and a time to dance.
5 A time to throw stones and a time to gather stones; A time to embrace and a time to shun embracing.
6 A time to search and a time to give up as lost; A time to keep and a time to throw away.
7 A time to tear apart and a time to sew together; A time to be silent and a time to speak.
8 A time to love and a time to hate; A time for war and a time for peace.

Although free will affects are aging process. What we choose when we want to do it. How many can ski and horseback ride at 80. How many who are aged are caring for our children?

We are scared of aging when we as women spend so much time and MONEY to counteract what the media says we should look like. From tummy tucks to $200 a bottle sure prrof wrinkle abatement creams we buy them and hope. Hope that aging does not come to our house.

But it will and it does so my suggestion is to open the door and proudly invite it into your kitchen for a cup of tea.

The Slow Poster

So I like to think I will post here often. 4 times in one year? Better than nothing.

Thing's I'm wondering, Why are our children growing up faster than we did?

Trust your gut

just when the rest of the world thinks you're making something outta nothing then they see that yes, you are right and not completely mad, there is something going on so they stop and gawk to see yeah, that is bad......

"Mom, you should see how large this tonsil is...." Hmm, I think I don't know what they look like, that is why I am paying the nurse talking to me, yet beyond the tongue you can't miss the overly large cherry sticking out in her throat soon to be diagnosed as strep. I guess it was something.

There are so many times when I know I should follow my gut. Sometimes I do, and sometimes I don't. It makes for a great roller coaster ride. The click click up the roller coaster's track when you follow your gut is predictable but the going down is not so predictable. Makes the ride interesting.

Oh latest, MG will walk down the aisle in less than a year, yeah folks hold onto to your panties it's not for any knot she is tying, she is still working on the square kind. Cinderella still waits--avidly avoiding all cleaning and ordering take out when possible. MG, was very pleased actually truly very honored, but scared. There are such requirements of the position. Immediate thoughts turned to a nite out party, needs to be better than the first time right??? Or the shower, I'll definitely buy flannel we do have winter here with a touch of "don't shoot me orange" for flavor. Maybe they can play out hunter and deer fantasies. Hmm, need to think white tail. Ugh, I need the maalox. Precisely why this is all too complicated for MG. Trust your gut and avoid the complicated. The cynic knows they are no happy endings that you don't create for yourself.

Drive across the country, again
travel
Figure out the minds of my children
Knit something complicated
Ski faster
Bike better -- just after buying a one that can propel my arse over a log
Swim
Run, ok this is where I am truly laughing.....if you could only hear me....
paint the trim in my house
paint the trim on the outside of my house
finish my quilt in progress
make a MG shirt
sit on a beach & watch the sunset
fly in a plane upside down
have faith
TRUST
narrow down the passions
Give a little more
learn how to do hair and wear clothes
Hike a long ways
camp in the rain

Much of life still to come. Many bells must wait for MG, as she trusts that gut or at least feeds it.